jeremy m s clines

Sermon at the Funeral of David Evans

2010-11-24T06:48:00.000Z

Here's the address I gave at David's funeral, yesterday.

David Evans (1937–2010)

David’s interest, care and enthusiasm for other people is quite amazing. His unexpected illness and death are all the more shocking and painful, because when a great tree of a person, like David—not a weed—but a great tree falls, the reverberation is large too. Because it’s like David had fitted a thousand lives into one lifetime he could give off the scent of eternity.

There’s a poem by Maya Angelou that explains this kind of falling of a tree better than I can:

Ailey, Baldwin, Floyd, Killens and Mayfield

When great trees fall,

rocks on distant hills shudder,

lions hunker down

in tall grasses,

and even elephants

Lumber after safety.

When great trees fall

in forests,

small things recoil into silence,

their senses

eroded beyond fear.

When great souls die,

the air around us becomes

light, rare, sterile.

We breathe, briefly.

Our eyes, briefly,

see with

a hurtful clarity.

Our memory, suddenly sharpened,

examines,

gnaws on kind words

unsaid,

promised walks

never taken.

Great souls die and

our reality, bound to

them, takes leave of us.

Our souls,

dependent upon their

nurture,

now shrink, wizened.

Our minds, formed

and informed by their

radiance

fall away.

We are not much maddened

As reduced to the unutterable ignorance

of dark, cold

caves.

And when great souls die,

after a period peace blooms,

slowly and always

irregularly. Spaces fill

with a kind of

soothing electric vibration.

Our senses, restored, never

to be the same, whisper to us.

They existed. They existed.

We can be. Be and be

better. For they existed.

[Maya Angelou, The Complete Collected Poems, Virago Press, London (1995: 266-67).]

We have heard in the reading from John’s gospel [19.38-42] about the shocking and untimely death of Jesus of Nazareth, and the beginnings of the funeral arrangements. At a time of death there’s much to organize but after today the agony and pain can find us, to quote the poem in ‘dark cold caves’.

Some of us will be angry: angry with God; with the cancer; with human frailty. For some of us: numbness; or action and reaction; for some silent emptiness; for some tears and pining.

With a great tree, such as David, who we have been privileged to know there’s a comfort that ‘they existed. We can be. Be and be better. For they existed.’

David’s care, interest and enthusiasm has touched thousands upon thousands of people. For each of us, our relationship with David doesn’t cease with his death, rather he will continue to shape and fashion the course of our lives for having known him. There is comfort in this.

As a Christian I find comfort in the fact that God grieves with us too, and that God—in Jesus—has experienced, intimately, the agony of death. We are not alone. I believe too there is comfort in the way a person’s life can become magnified after their their death; that their being can come alive so powerfully for us, as will be the case with David for many of us.

I find comfort too, at the end of David’s life—a working life given to the care, enthusiasm and interest of house and home, and the people and animals that lived in them—I find comfort in the Christian hope of a perfect heavenly home, a dwelling where:

there shall be no darkness or dazzling

but one equal light;

no noise or silence

but one equal music;

no fears or hopes

but one equal possession;

no ends or beginnings

but one equal eternity.

[John Donne 1573–1631]

Amen.

Dave Evans: much loved, sorely missed

2010-11-14T14:41:00.000Z

Very sad to hear the news that Dave Evans died this morning. He has been head coach most recently at York St John Rowing Club but for many many years at the University of Leeds Union Boat Club.

one equal light: one equal music

2010-11-04T10:20:00.001Z

I'm enjoying this year, and every year it comes around, a prayer for All Saints-tide from Prayer During the Day in Common Worship:

Bring us, O Lord God, at our last awakening
into the house and gate of heaven,
to enter that gate and dwell in that house,
where there shall be no darkness nor dazzling,
but one equal light;
no noise nor silence,
but one equal music;
no fear nor hopes,
but one equal possession;
no ends or beginnings,
but one equal eternity;
in the habitations of your glory and dominion,
world without end.
Amen.

The reference for this text is to Eric Milner-White (1963) after John Donne (1631). I guess an additional reference now, naturally, would be Vikram Seth too.

I had a rummage: found a musical setting of the prayer here:
http://www.pelagosmusic.com/Current/pages/Sheet%20Music%20Pages/SheetMusicTitles/Bring_Us_O_Lord.htm

The original text comes from a sermon by John Donne, hence the credit going to Eric Milner-White (a former Dean of York Minster) for turning Donne's words into a prayer.

A helpful reflection of the prayer comes from a short Church Times article (in a regular series)
http://www.churchtimes.co.uk/content.asp?id=20503

Esther Mary Grace

2009-10-03T17:02:00.001+01:00

Our baby daughter was born Wednesday last: it's been a wonderful first few days with her out of the womb!

Palestine-Israel Issues: Greenbelt Festival 2008 Cheltenham

2008-06-26T07:27:00.003+01:00

Greenbelt is a Christian Arts festival this August bank holiday, and includes a range of speakers, musicians, theatre, dance, art installations, worship, camping and general frivolity. Issues to do with the Occupied Territories of Palestine and Israel are consistently explored at Greenbelt. There are speakers, groups, and musicians including a headline music act who all address these issues.

Michael Franti and Spearhead,
Link
-- this band released 'Yell Fire' in 2006 following a visit to Iraq, Israel and the Occupied Territories of Palestine

Garth Hewitt
Link
-- based at All Hallows in the Wall in London, a canon at St George's Cathedral,
Jerusalem, new book 'Bethlehem Speaks' is just out

Maureen Jack
Link
-- a member of the Christian Peacemaker Teams (CPT) who has served in Hebron & At-Tuwani in Palestine as well as Baghdad in Iraq

Jonathan Kuttab
Link
-- a Palestinian human rights lawyer

Stephen Sizer
Link
-- is a founding member of the Institute for the Study of Christian Zionism

Turning the Tide
Link
--is a Quaker based organization that promotes non-violent routes to social change and includes the support of unarmed accompaniers in Israel-Palestine

Pax Christi
Link
-- have a campaign focus on Palestine/Israel and will have a stall and speakers in the PeaceZone

2002-2007
Talks still available on CD/MP3 from previous Greenbelt festivals.

2007 Talks

Marc Ellis -- Towards a Jewish Theology of Liberation
58

Marc Ellis -- Unholy alliance: religion and atrocity in our time
59

Marc Ellis -- Is Israel Different?
60

Marc Ellis -- 3 CD set of the above talks
BOX03

Fuad Dagher & Wisam Salsaa -- Both sides of the wall
34

2006 Talks

Husam Zomlot -- Palestine: where to?
54

2005 Talks

Eyal Weizman -- Temporary Facts; Flexible Barriers
87

Naim Ateek -- Daniel or Judah Maccabeas?
03

Naim Ateek -- Son of David or Suffering Servant?
02

Naim Ateek -- Whose Jerusalem?
04

2004 Talks

Garth Hewitt -- Towards the Dawn: Interfaith peacemaking in a land once known as Holy
40

Jonathan Kuttab -- Whose Holy Land? God's, Ours or Yours?
51

Jonathan Kuttab -- The Wall Must Fall
52

Teresa Parker -- Human Rights in Palestine / Israel
66

2003 Talks

Nora Karmi -- A Road Map to Peace?
18

2002 Talks

Carolyn Jay (Ayres) -- Back by popular demand: a beginners guide to the Palestinian Territories and Israel
12

Jeff Halper -- Peace in the Middle East and International Civil Society
51

Jeff Halper -- Israel's invisible occupation - "the matrix of control"
71

Bishop Riah -- Promised Land vs Holy Land
75

nearly a year!

2008-03-10T21:39:00.002Z

My life rhythms have changed so much, it's been nearly a year since my last post.

The pic perhaps explains some of the reasons for it.

This link maybe gives another bit of an explanation

http://www.cofe.anglican.org/news/pr0508.html

!!!

My beardiness:

2007-03-22T16:44:00.000Z

requires a profile pic change as well!

Pics of Louise and me

2007-03-22T16:14:00.000Z

The pic outside York Minster was from March 7, the other two though, just got processed from last summer.

:)

Crumbs, I'm wearing clerical clothes!! That happens about once in a blue moon, just like the camera coming out does.

Rhoda's off on her travels!

2007-03-15T18:45:00.000Z

Rhoda, a friend, and flat-lodger for much of the last 18 months has just embarked today on her travels. She's been rattling around in the attic of my place (most of the time), and now sets off on a pan-European adventures for who knows how long! Full details will appear from time to time on her blog.

It's been a bundle of laughs (quite literally) sharing tea, tears and therapy stories: I'm sure her blog http://stranih.blogspot.com/ will be a very diminished way of staying connected ... I for one will be looking forward to news and random tales from elsewhere.

Take a look at this!

2007-03-08T22:34:00.001Z

My friends have taken documenting the activities of their child to new lengths!!! http://philbecanwenplus.blogspot.com/2007/02/big-news-small-poo.html

Jewish Israeli / Palestinian love story

2007-03-08T19:55:00.000Z

Thought this report http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/6405799.stm was gently moving.

And now we're getting married!

2007-02-09T18:13:00.000Z

Yes, having had a wonderful time over the last nine months with Louise, we've decided to get married this June! This is the main reason I haven't been blogging, since I've been having so many happy times getting to know Louise and her friends and family and also introducing her to the people who are important in my life.

e-posada continues

2006-12-06T12:55:00.000Z

the day after me (today) the posada is with Al (the fracme link on the right) and the person with the full list is Andii (the nouslife link on the right).

Joseph / Mary / Donkey at Faslane 365 (e-posada)

2006-12-05T13:57:00.000Z

This is part of the e-Posada chainblog started here www.nouslife.blogspot.com where we each host the same image for one day of advent. Today, I would like us to look at the shared image above, concurrently with the image you can find on this link below!

The image I would like to contemplate is here

http://www.faslane365.org/es/blockade_photos/joseph_mary_donkey_at_faslane

Built into the donkey suit was a range of locks which meant that when the holy family went and sat in the road outside Faslane base it was a while (an hour or more) before the police were able to find a method to safely remove these itinerants and permit traffic to move again.

I believe that there is something about the way the holy family found themselves pushed around by imperialism and yet were never overcome by it, in life and in death, which reasonates with the profoud power which comes from non-violent direct action we witness in this contemporary photograph. (For what it is worth, I know two of the three people in it).

Prayer
God you shepherd us into your kingdom. Inspire us with the courage we see evident in the holy family to remain true to themselves and resistant to the state, even to the point of fleeing their own country. Teach us to find ways to be in solidarity with those who stay and resist or flee and rebuild. Help us to discern the season of your spirit so we may serve you with boldness and travel to the place it would be easier not to go to.
Amen.

Loads of reasons to boycott Murdoch

2006-11-16T23:34:00.000Z

Of course there are. The internal evidence from Fox is that it is a propaganda machine for the US Republicans. See and follow the links all about it here http://youtube.com/watch?v=QtYUjZEXz28

'Islamic fascist terrorists'

2006-08-15T10:16:00.000+01:00

My immediate reaction to this phrase is it is inflammatory and inaccurate propaganda, used by totalitarian imperialism which is hiding behind the mask of 'democracy'. Then I thought it was time to calm my anger and at least investigate such a phrase: having read a useful summary on Wikipedia about it, I choose more carefully to reject it (not just because the first time it came to my attention was when I happened to hear George W Bush using it in an interview).

I went on the Hyde Park to Parliament Square Stop the War Coalition demo in London two Saturdays ago; about wanting a ceasefire in Lebanon. Some people were chanting
'Down down George Bush,
down down Tony Blair',
and some were chanting
'we are all Hizbollah' (the placards with this final slogan had pictures of injured and killed children from Lebanon; the slogan could mean 'we are all children of God' or 'we are all members of Hizbollah'). This left me unmoved because I didn't agree although I could understand their feelings. I looked online at some debate surrounding the third slogan and yet couldn't find anything which wasn't simply more name calling, so I'm going to leave it.

I did have a gentle and peaceable chat with a thoughtful lady in her seventies, who I travelled back up as far as Stafford with on the train. She'd come down from Liverpool on a day return to demonstrate; she'd planned it the night before, and was attempting to fit that in and also attending a silent witness the following day on Hiroshima day. I could understand her, and was more deeply moved. On the march I was moved by how many people of many groupings all were there, determined that this unjustifiable set of killings had to stop. That people will join en masse for the sake of others overwhelmed me.

None of this leads me to conclude that views within a anti-war coalition which are different to mine are automatically wrong and I certainly do not think they are fascist. Throwing labels around about religious fascism, especially when done by someone from the Christian right leaves me unmoved and not in agreement.

I am glad that there's a ceasefire. I am also very grateful for writetothem.com for making it incredibly simple to write to my local councillors, MEPs and MP about the issue (I have received replies from each of them, all of which were not in agreement with Tony Blair's hesitating on calling for an unconditional ceasefire).

Days in Istanbul

2006-07-12T21:16:00.000+01:00

Hagia Sophia was opened on December 27 in 537 by the Roman Emperor. It stands 53m high with a colossal central dome connected to smaller half domes. Apart from beıng outstanding in it's own right, it has been the influence on Christian and Muslim architecture ever since. It was / is, large, majestic, elegant and unforgettable. It has been the highlight of a wonderful three days in Istanbul and has to be one of the most remarkable places of worship I have ever seen. Tomorrow we take the overnight sleeper to Thessaloniki in Greece. Other inspirations whilst here have been traversing the Bosphorous on the service ferries, exploring the underground Basillica Cistern and the Blue Mosque.

Scotland, Manchester and Turkey

2006-07-11T05:31:00.000+01:00

It has to be the best part of a month (in more ways than one) since I last posted. Due to annual leave I have been away from York, mainly, over in Manchester seeing Louise, and up in Scotland on the Ayrshire coast. Yesterday I was flung via a couple of flights to Istanbul. Having just had an early morning shower in a fabulous hostel (for its economy, sımplicity and water pressure in the showers) I thought it was time to share some news.

The last 35 days have been full of happy and joyous times and the wrıtıng on the PhD has also been sustained, I am makıng progress! Now from the perspective of the Sultanahmet dıstrıct of Istanbul I can see that the quiet gentleness of this year's leave has been a gıft in so many ways. The main blessing ıs how ıt has gıven me the spaciousness to get to know Louise much better, whıch is delightful. Also, to have begun wıth a cıty break in Riga and now come further south to Istanbul (and then it will be onwards to Athens), wıth the relative quietness of England and Scotland for writing in between the two trıps, has made for a restorative and stimulating vacation. I'm pleased!

Louise and me

2006-06-13T18:47:00.000+01:00

On the way back from Latvia, I met up with a pen-friend (well an email friend) in Manchester, she is called Louise. I fell for her, instantly, and she fell for me too, and last weekend we decided to make a go of things. So life's looking rather different all of a sudden. She's already begun to learn about my diverse peculiarities and I might start learning to scuba dive, read less of the Church press and get stuck into some more literature. It is so lovely to want and be wanted.

and one of Sarah

2006-06-08T11:33:00.000+01:00

one more of Josh

2006-06-08T11:07:00.000+01:00

via Helsinki home

2006-06-07T06:45:00.000+01:00

I had hoped to avoid the cheap flight world to get home, I didn't manage it for various reasons, including the internal desire to get settled and start writing on the PhD. So I got to see a tiny portion of Helsinki from the terminal building for three hours! I'm not going to go into a long justification of my choice (though I'm tempted to), I am glad though that I am back and that I even managed to see a friend in Manchester en route ( ... ).

The last day before leaving was spent reading a novel, hanging out with the family, visiting the State Art Gallery and going to an amazing tea house. The gallery shocked me for having such a dearth of religious art in it; obvious point really, it was the way the Soviet control over this country hit home for me. There were photographs of communist party members coming to the gallery and also snaps of the statue of Lenin being removed from the place back in 1987.

More pics ...

The shot above is afternoon tea, four years on from the image immediately below. Both teas were provided by Aivis's mum, though on this second occasion it was at her city residence, not the basic farmhouse in the country as previously ... her same home-made jam though ... nothing like it.

Some inland water from the day at the beach (nice one Aivis!)

There's so much I could say about the chilled out way that Sarah and Aivis are bringing Josh up; they all are so relaxed and yet focussed about life, in a peaceable and thought out way. It was inspiring to be part of the family for nearly nine days.

Aivis's pics

2006-06-05T18:50:00.004+01:00

Massive thanks to Aivis for taking loads of pics while I've been here ... all the snaps from this trip are his (well except the photo of him, which Sarah took).

Aivis, photographer and dad (nice one Sarah).

I was the only one on the beach wearing a Jordanian kafeer!

more time in Riga centre

2006-06-04T15:56:00.000+01:00

Going for a latte in town gave me a vantage point across the pedestrianized street, to a woman who was, kind of, busking. She was in her sixties wearing a semi-traditional Russian costume, stood next to a little side table with table cloth and ghetto blaster, dancing to Western pop tunes. She only had one sequence which lasted about five seconds, She'd raise her left hand up and forward, throw her right arm behind her, look left, and with a certain sort nimbleness spin around and look to the right. She would repeat this over and over again, except when she was checking her pockets. Although it was both bizarre and simplistic, she conducted herself with such confidence that the performance was both funny and perplexing.

Aivis says she's Russian, Sarah says Latvians wouldn't never be that flamboyant. Aivis says that, for humour value, its best when children start joining in with her. Like me, the locals looked on with wry amusement. I left the coffee place, gave her a busker's tip and moved on, feeling troubled by the desire to burst out laughing, again. She was repeating the same performance, this time to 'Gimme, Gimme, Gimme a Man after Midnight' -- an ironic twist on the whole 'sex tourism' mess that the 'come to Latvia' industry is currently landed with. It was midday, so fortunately she wasn't going to be tormented by gangs of English, beer drinking, football chanting, sexually harrassing men; they weren't back outside yet.

I did notice, more positively, on the way home, that the civic poster sites around the centre all have adverts for the upcoming concerts by Sting and Simply Red: the marketing of Riga as a fully Western and European kind of destination is underway. The invitation to watch the 'Best Dancing Girls Show in the Baltic' in the same block as one of the swishiest hotels in the area shows how there will have to be more than a PR job done to change this capital's international appeal.

4 church pentecost, 5 room flat

2006-06-04T15:30:00.000+01:00

The apartment that Sarah and Aivis has is so peaceful, I look out from my broadband enabled, pine floored, large double room onto mature trees in parkland, then there's a hint of the railway sidings on the route out to St Petersburg and more trees beyond that. The only intrusions from the outside world here are all slight and occasional. So far the ones I notice come from three sources; the heaviest trains which wobble the building, the odd bass line from the flat below (they were playing Bohemian Rhapsody last night), and the smell of the next flat's cooking and cigarettes (only if you stand close to the ventilator in the toilet). I'd be glad to stay here longer, the company is delightful though, so I'd never get any writing done.

Neither the Salvation Army, the small Russian Orthodox church or the large Orthodox cathedral were observing Pentecost today ... all the same I popped into all three (Orthodox do Holy Spirit next week I think). The Army were experimenting with Tom & Jerry and Mr Bean. The simple songs used in the 'All Age' worship at the Citadel enabled me to learn how to sing along to 'Jesus is: strong / Lord / love' in Latvian.

Just a little further into town the Evangelical Lutherans were marking the coming of the Holy Spirit, musically, with a set of Bach flute duets plus organ continuo. Another fifty metres along was a church which operated through the communist period: the Orthodox divine liturgy gave off a sense of longevity through feeling both everyday and intimate. It was enlivened by a youngish group of cantors.

The cathedral, another 500m towards the freedom monument had just finished its service by the time I arrived, there were many still praying. The icons were well presented and there was sufficient space between each of them to prevent the 'rogues gallery' feel. The little shop at the rear sold religious memorabillia and passport wallets.

On the Baltic coast

2006-06-04T14:19:00.000+01:00

I went on Saturday with family Ilsters and their friend up to the coast about 30 kilometres north and slightly east of Riga. The beach and dunes go on and on, and there's barely anyone there. It was a cloudless day with a cool, late spring breeze by the shore. Not too windy for frisbee and breezy enough to let the strong sun soak into the skin without overheating.

We then headed inland and after a late lunch found our way to the summer toboggan run ... the stainless steel track is a full circuit, it must be about a kilometre long, including the ascent section. A ski-lift system drags you 200m up the 50% incline and lets you go at the top having accelerated you to about 20kmh for the twisting 800m back down. There's a simple hand brake system and the challenge is to use it as little as possible and lean into the curves. I had five rides ... very entertaining, especially getting the speed up to make best used of the banking on the bends.

We watched 3 episodes of the 'Kumars at no. 42' in the evening ... a DVD I'd brought with me, I've been trying to catch up on programmes I've never seen before (I haven't had a telly since they started bombing Afghanistan) ... this format had me in stitches, especially 'Ummi' -- Grandma Sushila -- played by Meera Syal; she has the same knack in improvisation as she does in writing, for side-splitting bluntness.

What I love about Riga

2006-06-04T13:59:00.000+01:00

I enjoy the spaciousness of the streets, the canal running through the park in the centre of the city and the liberation monument from the 1920s. The older streets of the medieval city and the ninenteenth century blocks surrounding it with large and varied five to six storey facades combine to give a sense of permanence; and it suggests that the 45 years under Soviet control was a minor disturbance to this ancient kingdom. The architecture has some significant Italian and Art Nouveau influences and the pedestrianization of most of the oldest parts of town gives a sense of tranquility which I cannot recall in any other capital.

I also appreciate the tram network, with the simple single decker cars bought in the from the Czech Republic, permanently tagged into pairs: they take precedence, running across cobbled carpets, laid down the centre of the wider streets. Spring comes late here, and the greenness of the trees is still on the way to reaching its fullness. It can feel as cold as Scotland when the sun disappears, though the air pollution is much lower than in Glasgow; helped not only by the trams and trolley buses (20p anywhere), but also by the reliance on rail for freight and minimal congestion from private cars.

English 'men' abroad

2006-06-04T13:54:00.000+01:00

Sarah explained to me the reason I was asked about Latvian women ... white English men come over here in packs, large and small with their minds on beer and women and some on sex tourism -- only the hotels are expensive. Sarah and I went with Josh on the paddle-boats on Friday afternoon, and when we went into town we spotted seven or eight separate groups of guys over from England. At least two groups were chanting / singing football songs. There was one stag weekend (groom dressed in a 'Ghostbusters' suit) and another gang of blokes (I could think of a less complimentary term) applauding and cheering every 'suitable' woman who walked by. There was no redeeming features I could identify about any of this. It was about 4.30pm, it appeared everyone was drunk, or not far off becoming so.

In Riga

2006-06-01T10:37:00.000+01:00

When I came here four years ago I was conscious of it being my first visit to a post-Soviet state, which was opening its new found wings and fighting corruption. This time I've arrived on my first visit to a fledgling member state of the EU - a place struggling with its identity for different reasons. There are many parents leaving; leaving the country for work in the UK etc, and leaving their children with grandparents here in Latvia.

For me though, I'm delighted to be here with my friends. Their new home is delightful and peaceful. Plenty of gentle quiet, easy talking and cheerful meals. I've seen two films with them already [check my arts blog], and watched their son growing up (and although now at 18 months, rather more like 16 months since he was 6 weeks premature).

And there is, for me, a sense of calmness about being away from everything, and of course there's so much less stress than in Palestine and the Occupied Territories. I've been quite desperate for some annual leave, and now it's finally here I feel such relief, and joy about it. I wanted to start my holidays here. As to where next ... I think I'll be heading west ... going east is tempting though!

Airport conversation

2006-06-01T10:08:00.000+01:00

So, I was in one of several queues at the airport. Someone asked to have tea from my flask ... I explained it was only hot water, so he started asking around for tea-bags (I did incite him a bit, quite a bit actually, for the sake of the banter)! I got talking to him and his three 'friends'. They were friendly, they were on business though, all working as engineers for British Aerospace at BAe Wharton. They were flying off to Latvia to sell military jets to the Latvian Airforce. Apparently Typhoons are quite popular. They weren't able to either give me an idea of how much such a plane would cost. I asked if they had been given authority to barter on the price, yes they said, how much I asked -- they felt that might have been pushing the boundaries of confidentality.

So, I asked, were any of them working at Wharton when the Ploughshares Four came and vandalized a jet bound for the Indonesian Airforce (who were using the planes to perpetuate a genocide against the East Timorese). One said 'no ... we came in the following morning though'. What I did find out was that the cost of damage to the plane was not as high as it was suggested in the press or at the court case; though when I pressed them on figures we didn't get very far. I also asked them what they felt, personally, about the not guilty verdict returned on those who'd vandalized the plane. I didn't get a direct answer, just a 'not prepared to comment' from the chief engineer and other remarks from another member of the group about how the publicity surrounding the case led to an exaggeration of the matter on all sides.

I felt at the time of the case, and still, in retrospect, that the Not Guilty verdict was a triumph, albeit a paltry one, for British justice, and proof of reasons for the right to a trial by jury. (Though, before I'm misunderstood, I must say that cases about shoplifting a hairdryer going to jury trial ... I knew of one example of that ... well that's the absurdity of a justice system which cannot resolve such matters by another means). And also before I'm misunderstood in another direction I have to repeat comments from blogging back in early 2005 relating to detainees held without trial at Belmarsh. I cannot overstate how appalled I currently am by the British Government's disregard for international law, its own system of justice, and its willingness to kill outside of its own moral codes on just war (not to attack a country threatening beyond its own borders). I can add to that a sense of disgust about the participation in deporting suspects (innocent till proven guilty) to other nations where they are bound to be tortured. (And I haven't even started on our treatment of Asylum seekers). Grrrr.

Back to the Plougshares Four not guilty verdit though. Of course the verdict was sound, since, as the jury agreed, attempting to prevent the slaughter of innocent people legitimates specific, localized and direct action which can be believed to slow down or prevent killing. That was what was so sophisticated about the Direct Action that was committed, and they had all the documentary evidence that they had attempted all other peaceful, political and legalized means of resisting and opposing the Indonesian genocide in East Timor prior to taking 'illegal' action.

So although I was feeling somewhat glum about buying into the 'cheap flight' world, I was very glad to be able to talk to people from the BAe perspective, and to hear some of their thoughts and feelings, though I mainly got that from the body language than what they were willing to divulge. One of the group did want to know my view on Latvian women, how attractive they were and whether they'd be 'up for it'? I was glad I wasn't able to advise ... he said 'we'll be staying a top hotel', I think the inference was that such a location would lead to some kind of quality opportunity for sex ... I sensed there was some irony since they didn't come 'dressed' for the occasion. Perhaps the questions were a reverse test on me seeing as I had been asking awkward questions the other way. Maybe they were wanting to see if I was going to be shocked or not (yes they knew what my occupation was).

Latvia flight

2006-06-01T10:03:00.000+01:00

I know all the reasons not to take short flights ... still I took one ... 'history will be my judge' [Blair used that one, I thought I'd try it myself, feels crap] ... from Liverpool John Lennon airport. Have to admit that if we are going to have short flights, then packing people in the way Ryanair does at least means you are getting better fuel use per person per mile ... however it is encouraging more travel by air, and that cannot help whichever way you look at it, fixing global warming agents straight into the upper atmosphere is bad news. On a more hopeful note, I know of a fantastic Nepalese tree planting project, intiated in West Yorkshire ... offsetting flights with tree planting may help long term. [If you want to know more, posting a comment with your email requesting further details will a) get a response from me and b) only get published with your contact details removed.]

Which Muppet are you?

2006-05-19T22:14:00.000+01:00

I'm so glad Alastair has put me onto the lastest of the very best sophisticated personality indicator assessments!

This time, apparently,

I Am Animal

A complete lunatic, you're operating on 100% animal instincts.
You thrive on uncontrolled energy, and you're downright scary.
But you sure can beat a good drum.
"Kill! Kill!"

The Muppet Personality Test

I didn't attempt to fix the answers, or anything, honest.

Ship of Fools ... die laughing

2006-05-14T16:35:00.000+01:00

I am so indebted to the Ship of Fools for so many many things. And I've laughed so many times there ... this link though probably has to take the biscuit for the funniest and most appalling of all the 'gadgets for God' that they've ever sourced. http://www.collectiblestoday.com/ct/product/prdid-1400229001.jsp?FP3 self-described as 'an illuminated treasure of handcrafted religious Christian home decor!' Laughed? I nearly wet myself. I'm still killing myself laughing as I write.

Personality Indicators

2006-05-14T15:30:00.001+01:00

I've learnt a vast array of information over the years about how I tick and how others operate differently to one another. I value some (not all) of the personality indicator research and profiling that's out there and available, and have studied two in particular detail -- Enneagram and Myers-Briggs (no suprises there then). I have to say that I am struggling now, and always have, with the manner in which these helpful and useful tools can so easily become labels which justify inertia and intransigence. I think I'll just think about Thai Food and Sunrise for a few weeks rather than self-justifying my own behaviour with talk of number 4s and ENTP.

What kind of food am I?

2006-05-11T23:49:00.000+01:00

Apparently (thanks to Mark for spotting this one)

I Am Thai Food

Trendy yet complex.
People seek you out - though they're not sure why.

What Kind of Food Are You?

What kind of day are you?

2006-05-10T18:13:00.000+01:00

Apparently,

I Am Sunrise

You enjoy living a slow, fulfilling life. You enjoy living every moment, no matter how ordinary.
You are a person of reflection and meditation. You start and end every day by looking inward.
Caring and giving, you enjoy making people happy. You're often cooking for friends or buying them gifts.
All in all, you know how to love life for what it is - not for how it should be.

What Time Of Day Are You?

Lent 40 -- Lindisfarne

2006-04-15T12:47:00.000+01:00

Lent 39 -- Sheffield 'Poly', Totley (3)

2006-04-14T11:37:00.000+01:00

Lent 38 -- Sheffield 'Poly' at Totley (2)

2006-04-13T21:55:00.000+01:00

Lent 37 -- Sheffield 'Poly' at Totley

2006-04-12T04:39:00.000+01:00

Lent 36 -- Martha & Mary's garden, Bethany

2006-04-11T17:40:00.000+01:00

Lent 35 -- Lion's Gate, Jerusalem

2006-04-10T20:00:00.000+01:00

Lent 34 -- gatehouse, Great Wall

2006-04-08T17:53:00.000+01:00

Lent 33 -- Hoy, Orkney

2006-04-07T20:38:00.000+01:00

Lent 32 -- ferry arrives at Brodick, Arran

2006-04-06T20:23:00.000+01:00

Lent 31 -- Whitby beach and piers

2006-04-05T16:02:00.000+01:00

Lent 30 -- Dublin transport

2006-04-04T15:59:00.000+01:00

Lent 29 -- Ulaan Batoor girl at temple

2006-04-03T09:00:00.000+01:00

Lent 28 -- Spen Lane view

2006-04-01T01:04:00.000+01:00

Lent 27 -- Sligo window

2006-03-31T00:57:00.000+01:00

Lent 26 --Sandsend near Whitby

2006-03-30T07:27:00.000+01:00

Lent 25 -- Scrabster Stromness ferry

2006-03-29T23:02:00.000+01:00

Lent 24 -- Bordesley Canal, Birmingham

2006-03-27T22:01:00.000+01:00

Lent 23 -- Bujagali, Uganda: "The Bad Place"

2006-03-27T07:53:00.000+01:00

Lent 22 -- Durham Cathedral, autumn

2006-03-25T08:45:00.000Z

Lent 21 -- River Wear, Durham

2006-03-24T07:48:00.000Z

Lent 20 -- Prebends Bridge, Durham

2006-03-23T20:20:00.000Z

Lent 19 -- 3 South Bailey, Durham

2006-03-22T19:33:00.000Z

Lent 18 -- Flowers on car, Durham

2006-03-21T17:10:00.000Z

Lent 17 -- Grey Towers of Durham

2006-03-20T22:24:00.000Z

Lent 16 -- Lindisfarne horse

2006-03-19T00:51:00.000Z

Lent 15 -- Ardrossan view

2006-03-17T05:46:00.000Z

Lent 14 -- church on Orkney

2006-03-16T12:13:00.000Z

Lent 13 -- Sligo winter afternoon

2006-03-15T13:52:00.000Z

Lent 12 -- Belfast window

2006-03-14T08:05:00.000Z

Lent 11 -- bike at Spurn Head

2006-03-13T18:17:00.000Z

Lent 10 -- Latvian afternoon tea

2006-03-11T15:09:00.000Z

Lent 9 -- Mongolian dune walk

2006-03-10T23:46:00.000Z

Lent 8 -- friends on Mongolian dune

2006-03-09T00:10:00.000Z

Lent 7 -- Oslo another couple

2006-03-08T00:38:00.000Z

Lent 6 -- Oslo just 1 couple

2006-03-07T00:42:00.000Z

Lent 5 -- Oslo 2 couples

2006-03-06T17:34:00.000Z

Lent 4 -- East Jerusalem sunrise

2006-03-04T09:13:00.000Z

Lent 3 -- IDF jeep at Jaffa Gate

2006-03-03T00:19:00.000Z

Lent 2 -- East Jerusalem wire and sun

2006-03-02T18:21:00.000Z

Lent 1 -- East Jerusalem separation wall

2006-03-01T23:16:00.000Z

having too much fun

2006-01-25T16:42:00.000Z

having too much fun to blog!

Excellent time down in Worcestershire last week, and staying with a good friend in B'ham -- sat up late drinking wine, watching Donnie Darko and eating good food. Even had a lovely meet up with the person I used to be married to -- that was a random and surprising get together which was relaxed and interesting. Also really bowled over by the Burne-Jones glass in the cathedral which I've seen many times before -- this time though it was something different.

Went for a lovely long walk on Saturday, and since I've been back to York -- well fizz fizz fizz -- just attempting to keep the energy up -- didn't get out rowing -- boat and companion not quite ready yet.

If it's a while before the next post, just picture me working hard, playing hard, and having fun.

anam cara

2006-01-17T11:30:00.000Z

After a summertime of rowing in a double scull there was a dearth of activity October to December due to a perpetually high river and an injured rowing partner. We made contact though over Christmas and he has bought the most testing of craft -- a rowing pair -- one blade each (last year we were in a double scull, that's two blades each). Saw it for the first time on Sunday and we put the riggers on (which hold the blades).

He said it would be good to come up with a Gaelic / Celtic name for it -- I immediately thought of 'anam cara' which means 'soul friend' and we agreed it there and then. First outing next Sunday, all being well with the river, him and me.

dog and eliot

2006-01-16T11:41:00.000Z

Went to Cambridgeshire to my dear friends to see them and end their dog's holiday who has been up in York for the last eight weeks.

T S Eliot's the Journey of the Magi has been a source of nourishment of late. I only came to reading the Four Quartets from a new perspective yesterday -- here's a section that stood out for me, thanks to the gentle guidance of a good friend.

Four Quartets
III

I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope
For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love
For love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith
But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting.
Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought:
So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.
Whisper of running streams, and winter lightning.
The wild thyme unseen and the wild strawberry,
The laughter in the garden, echoed ecstasy
Not lost, but requiring, pointing to the agony
Of death and birth.

You say I am repeating
Something I have said before. I shall say it again.
Shall I say it again? In order to arrive there,
To arrive where you are, to get from where you are not,
You must go by a way wherein there is no ecstasy.
In order to arrive at what you do not know
You must go by a way which is the way of ignorance.
In order to possess what you do not possess
You must go by the way of dispossession.
In order to arrive at what you are not
You must go through the way in which you are not.
And what you do not know is the only thing you know
And what you own is what you do not own
And where you are is where you are not.

the magis' way

2006-01-08T11:19:00.000Z

The accommodation near Petra at Taybet Zaman was amazing for being as old and traditional as anything in East Jerusalem It was high up, with a wild wind whipping over the hillside. The Hammam (Turkish bath and massage) was pretty good too! One year on, I went up Aaron's mountain at Petra to the tomb there. I met up with Atala who had gone with me there twelve months before (found his name and then him by checking back on my blog). He brought his donkey 'Lawrence' this time and I brought a good friend from the group!

The Magi would have almost certainly come through this incense tax and control point en route to Bethlehem, and so our group imitated that. We travelled on from Petra, by an Exodus style detour, through the desert at Wadi Rum. This diversion only lasted one night rather than 40 years. The drama of mountain peaks sticking out above the flat sandscape was brought close by a wild jeep ride between the hills in the late afternoon light. The tented accommodation close to thundering trains carrying phosphate for agricultural export was oddly reminiscent of huge camel trains, just appreciably noisier.

Then we headed back north via the 1000 year old Desert Highway which runs all the way up to Istanbul, turning off at Madaba to the guesstimated death location for Moses at Mount Nebo. We crossed into the West Bank at the Allenby / King Hussein Bridge to stay with families in Bethelehem. Christmas Eve and Christmas Day (Orthodox calendar) saw us celebrating with the pilgrims from all over the world, in probably one hundredth of the numbers there would be if there was no wall, and there was peace here. Our group was moved in many ways, inspired and provoked in good measure. Just landed back in the UK Saturday night. London today, Durham then York tomorrow.

depth and height

2006-01-03T18:55:00.000Z

Journeyed today from the lowest point on earth (400m / 1330ft below sea level) up to one of the higher points in Jordan beside Petra (1200m / 3900ft above sea level). The landscape we have travelled through has varied tremendously from fertile agricultural land, to desert, from salt factories to Bedouin villages, and from a Crusader fort to an ancient civilization's tombs. The land is very dry, and rather too warm for the time of year: this helps as a tourist to the detriment of the locals. The fort of Shawbak had steps going down into tunnels which served as secret exits and entrances, clambered down one for a hundred feet -- next time I'm going to go all the way, apparently you pop out at the bottom of the fort's impregnable hill top.

after the wilderness

2006-01-01T18:22:00.000Z

At 6.20am we stopped 20 minutes down the hill from Jerusalem at Wadi Al Qelt in the Judean wilderness, looked, and listened to Luke 4: Jesus after being tempted 40 days goes onto Galilee and then to Nazareth, our itinerary for the day! People were glad to see Galilee, although amusement at the touristification and churchification of it all mixed strangely with a sense of awe and wonder. We all enjoyed the Church of the Annunciation at Nazareth, for its emptiness and the mixture of the ancient 'home' of 'Mary & Co' deeply inset within the space, and the stunning new architecture on a cathedralesque scale. We are now staying high above the town looking across the centre and towards the hills of Jordan; we make the journey there in the morning to explore the Roman city of Jerash before going on to float in the Dead Sea. We'll be in Petra by Tuesday, with the Bedouin Thursday night, and back to Bethlehem for Orthodox Christmas Eve on Friday night.

jerusalem blues

2005-12-31T15:18:00.000Z

Luggage arrived for everyone, that was like Christmas coming late, or early if you go by the Orthodox calendar. Police, in blue, army in green, all armed, in good number and arresting so many Palestinian men at the moment. More wall built of course. Good to see everyone who I'm with getting stuck into the dynamics of this place. Two phrases which have strong currency and are being repeated 'bitter sweet' and 'tragic farce'. The desert, wall and Old City tourism is at an end. Galilee and Jordan next. Happy New Year to all. X

a deeper sort of magic

2005-12-29T12:29:00.000Z

Christmas had odd echoes of something from childhood -- TV and half connected company with dear friends and family took me somewhere deep and distant. Palestine, yes I'm back, has some strange echoes too, here with no room in the plane for the luggage means there is a disjointedness with the way I'm used to travelling. Now it is as an imperative rather than a past time to go shopping -- we all need stuff, a different depth of engagement maybe. Saw some uncovered parts of the 1st century Jerusalem landscape at the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, a site regarded as the place of death and resurrection of Christ: I thought of the deeper kind of magic C S Lewis refers to in The L the W and the W-D!

made it!

2005-12-25T12:12:00.000Z

Made it through Advent, its been a bloody hard journey and better than I could have imagined. Also made it to Cambridgeshire at midnight for Christmas communion, after a mid-evening Christmas Eve service at Visions in York. After time with my goddaughter and dear friends I'm across to Derby to see my sister, brother-in-law and nieces, before getting back to York on Boxing Day. Have to get back to York so as to travel with 10 others that same evening to Heathrow -- I'm heading back to the Holy Land and Jordan for 12 days -- flying early on the 27th!

"free at last"

2005-12-23T19:18:00.000Z

I have often thought about this fourth section from the Martin Luther King 'I have a dream' speech since I heard it explored in music at Greenbelt by jazz musician Denys Baptiste a couple of years ago. MLK preached this fourth section long before the kingdom had broken through for blacks in the U.S.. He spoke with a prophetic, hopeful anticipation of the way things could be. That's something I've been discovering on my via negativa way through Advent (see early December entries). It's been particularly since Canterbury Cathedral (see December 17) that I've been experiencing the happiness of knowing that although freedom hasn't fully arrived, what has come of it is evidence that there'll be much much more of the same. Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty we're free at last.

mini-dinner party in desert

2005-12-21T17:14:00.000Z

Joined in with a mini mini dinner party at my flat. One familiar, one new person. Very funny, lots of frankness and honesty and semi-ironic semi-serious pop-psychology. That's the fifth dinner thing in five days -- I'm thriving on it, and it's a good let up from the desert way I'm walking at the moment. I'm loving the desert, not particularly comfortable, glad to be out of my comfort zone though for the power the desert has to confront me about what really matters and who I am.

lovely people

2005-12-20T12:40:00.000Z

I'm enjoying and appreciating the people around me so much at the moment. It was good to see a Nottingham friend at Visions service and party on Sunday night (maybe they'll even move to York). Liked the fact that both people who've been lodging with me came along too -- all felt very connected. Went for a gentle evening with a couple of friends last night more good food and good talking about many things, including unlocking creativity.

early christmas

2005-12-18T18:05:00.000Z

Had a lovely Saturday breakfast morning at Hathersage with good friends, a walk at Grindleford -- more breakfast at the station cafe -- love the signage there -- it says things like 'THIS IS A SERVING HATCH NOT A VIEWING GALLERY' and 'WE DON'T DO SCRAMBLED EGGS ON SUNDAY SO DON'T ASK'! Walked and talked some more. Healing in talking -- good stuff.

Then back over the hill to Sheffield for a bit of family Christmas. Lovely to have time with three generations of family and to eat good food. Went to see the Sheffield Phoenix and Hebrew Dictionary rooms at the Arts Tower and hear a bit about the changes going on there. Good food, good company.

This morning went to meet Onyx for the first time, a horse owned within the family. Fantastic to be able to ride on such a large creature -- it was my first full size horse ride ever -- managed to stop, start, and even managed three correct bounces on the trot! Loved it!

not a tame lion

2005-12-16T23:52:00.000Z

I dashed from York as term ended to come and watch the Chronicles of Narnia in Sheffield with a couple of friends. I found it beautiful and healing. I would have been glad for longer to have been spent on the moments of pathos; altogether though it was superb. We sat together afterwards looking at the illustrations from the book and seeing what a good job had been done on many counts. My sense of the film connected to the way I've been rather shaken by the power of the Canterbury experience. Also, I am deeply aware of how untame the nature of God is -- and how remarkably unpredictable.

God and one friend in particular have been, this year, to me, like the frontiers of the sea, coming and going, sometimes quite unbearably. I wouldn't want it any other way though -- and I want to let the knowing of them to continue to be to me as strong as the tide. Lucy, in book and film, wonders about Aslan's sudden departure -- and I wonder, sometimes, whether the sea will ever come back, and of course I won't know that unless it does. That's the agony and ecstasy of letting others be the seas that they are to me. That's what costs so much in risking desiring God, for God is stronger than the power of the sea and God moves across the face of my life in ways as mysterious as they are overwhelming: the untame lion who is very kind.

Christmas Address: No Doom No Vroom!

2005-12-15T15:34:00.000Z

(Hebrews 4.1-4)

I wonder what we think of when we consider the phrase ‘Christmas Spirit’ – I guess many of us think of closeness, of giving tokens of love and friendship, of happiness and all being right on the domestic front, a break from work, a chance to go to Church again, or for a change. That’s the way I’ve tended to think – now though I’ve changed a bit, this year’s had a strange affect on me. Now when I think of Christmas spirit I tend to think of apocalypse and hope – and I think that way because its exactly what we need – it is only by thinking apocalyptic and hopeful thoughts that we can get a move on, and we certainly need that. Let me explain.

Here comes the end of the year and with it our many perspectives on what kind of year it was. What kind of year was it for you? Did it fulfil all your wildest hopes and dreams, and some? Was it average, or just plain horrible? I guess there’ll have been a bit of everything for each of us; some wonderful stuff, some horribleness and some things which were just plain average.

And if we had someone here to prophesy into our next years, to tell us of the term that lies ahead of the end of this one, I guess again then such a prophet could tell us of the hopes and dreams we didn’t realize it was worth having. The same prophet could warn us of the horriblenesses that do lie ahead for us and speak of the average and mundane as well.

Fortunately, though, we don’t usually get subjected to either a blow by blow analysis of the events past or future for ourselves – we do, though, get it about world out there according to the news media. Dominant on the screen over the next few weeks will be the worst, the biggest, the bleakest events of the year for us to contemplate once again. And analysts will sit down to make their predictions for the future of the world markets, of politics, of the weather and global warming, of war and rumours of wars.

Some of what we hear will be quite negative and laden with a sense that everything is doomed – that there’s no way out and that all that is good is coming to the end. The list of doom is quite long these days

Global warming, the ozone hole, overpopulation, starvation and malnutrition, war, unemployment, the destruction of species and the rain forests, pollution of water and air, pesticide and herbicide poisoning, errors in genetic engineering, erosion of topsoil, overfishing, anarchy and crime, the possibility of a nuclear mishap, chemical warfare or all-out nuclear war: together, or in some cases singly, these dangers threaten to "catch us unexpectedly, like a trap."

… when you hear this list how does it feel?

Apocalypse Now, that’s what I feel,

Apocalypse Now – the lyrics from the Doors opened the film of the same name – they sang:

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end
Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
I'll never look into your eyes...again
Can you picture what will be
So limitless and free
Desperately in need...of some...stranger's hand
In a...desperate land
Lost in a Roman...wilderness of pain
And all the children are insane
All the children are insane
Waiting for the summer rain, yeah

I feel this gloom at the close of the year. The harbingers of doom have spoken.

Now you are probably all starting to wish you hadn’t come to this blessed carol service, with a gloomy Jeremiah of a Chaplain filling your Christmas cheer with a few lead weights.

Here’s the good news though -- Having a sense of the apocalyptic is exactly what we need, especially because its Christmas. We need it because it is only when the prophets of doom begin to speak that we start to think about what we are going to do. It is only when someone says ‘it can’t go on like this’ that we can decide what course of action we want to take.

So the writer of the letter to the Hebrews explains

(Hebrew 4 verse 1) ‘Long ago God spoke to our ancestors in many and various ways by the prophets,’

The Doors aren’t the first prophets of doom, there’s been plenty before – why declare doom – God did it, the prophets did it, the pundits do it to give us all a choice – and the choice is plain, we have one of two options – we get stuck or we do something about it.

Walter Wink a political theologian from the US speaks of apocalyptic negativity and apocalyptic positivity – we can listen to the doom merchants and became frozen in terror that’s the negativity, or we can hear, change course, even slightly and then perhaps alleviate the doom that is being declared. It’s a bit like no pain, no gain: I’d say ‘no doom no vroom’.

But there’s more – it doesn’t end with doom –

Rather than God leaving us to get ourselves sorted out by listening to the doom merchants he gives us something else, someone else who doesn’t just bring us doom, but brings us hope. God brings something greater than a messenger – God brings himself to us.

The passage goes on (Hebrew 4 verse 2) ‘but in these last days he has spoken to us by a Son, whom he appointed heir of all things, through whom he also created the worlds’.

Rather than keeping on giving us news of the end of the world, God at Christmas in the birth of Jesus gives to the world ‘the heir of all things’ that is the one who has ownership, has responsibility for us all. Jesus is the the very opposite of destruction – Jesus represents the all that is and all that was and all that will ever be – Jesus is the beginning of all things, Jesus is the force that continues all things and completes them too.

It was doom that brought Jesus to us – it is because there is always impending apocalypse that Jesus comes – so that when we stir from action, we can stir not just driven by the fear of destruction. Jesus comes so that we can shift from looking into the face of disaster and turn to look into the face of hope.

Too often our world gives us apocalyptic sentiment which freezes us, even if it is meant to inspire us into action. And even if we get hold of apocalyptic positivity – the desire to change the direction of things only slightly to save us from disaster, then still God says ‘that isn’t enough’ no God gives us more than that.

As Hebrews 4 verses 3 and 4 puts it: ‘He is the reflection of God’s glory and the exact imprint of God’s very being, and he sustains* all things by his powerful word. When he had made purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high, 4having become as much superior to angels as the name he has inherited is more excellent than theirs.

It is the greatness and this power for hope, hope for the now, hope for all that will be that God has gifted us with this Christmas. The hope of sins forgiven, the hope of power greater than millions of angels, power greater than all things; that’s the message of Christmas – hope to transform our fear, hope to move us beyond the deathliness of apocalypse, hope to lead us farther up and farther in. That’s the spirit, that’s the Christmas spirit, that’s the message, that’s what we’re all waiting for.

And if we dare to believe it, and receive the love God shows in Jesus, we can let go of the fear of the death of things, and embrace the hope of the beginning of all that will be with Jesus, from here to eternity. Then, we can pray in true Christmas Spirit because we will share our Christmasses with the source of Christmas hope – Jesus the Christ. Then we will be able to pray with him: ‘for all that has been; thanks, for all that will be, yes’.

Amen.

Canterbury Chase

2005-12-14T23:05:00.000Z

Chased down to Canterbury to find I'd arrived two days late for an event. These days my diary management goes pretty well, this must be the most amazing diary mistake of my life. I was so thrown, and suddenly, sat in the Cathedral all alone I felt the still small voice of God in the most vivid of ways. So I would do it again!

A Julian Contemplation

2005-12-13T10:41:00.000Z

I find this contemplation very helpful when feeling anxious or panicky.

Be silent
Be still
Wait before your God
Say nothing
Ask nothing
Be still
Let your God look upon you
That is all
God knows
God understands
God loves you with an enormous love
God only wants to look upon you with love

Quiet

Still

Be

Let God love you

via negativa

2005-12-09T10:42:00.000Z

The thing about walking the 'way of what isn't' or being in the dark night of the soul is that it confirms to me more fully what is. My demons are the things that aren't true, the things of fear, the things of confusion. Unmasking, naming and engaging all of these untruths can only leave me in a better place, a knowing place, more fully embracing truth, more certain of love.

birthday

2005-12-08T12:07:00.000Z

Birthday food with friends and candles good. Also received good news about the business case for the Chaplaincy being approved.

Know my place.

Dark night of the soul.

Love.

Durham day

2005-12-06T12:31:00.000Z

Had to go to Durham to get my passport sorted out. Made the most of the trip, spent a good 3 hours with a friend talking about current stuff. We've met every month or two for six years, so making headway together comes with ease now. Something they suggested which was particularly useful for me to explore is the concept of the via negativa -- the way of discovering what isn't. This is a way of tension and ambiguity, of empty desert space. A powerful route for journeying ...

Also popped in to see my spiritual director, we had a happy 20 minutes together. Then had a fairly blissed out return run on the train, in something of a daze dream.

Last night marked the end of a ten week phase, in that the couple I've been preparing for marriage didn't meet with me because I married them (to each other) last Saturday. That was a fantastic occassion, lots of good humour, chance to speak of love and celebrate it. Last night was also the last of 10 Emmaus group meetings in my home. We looked at the sudden end of Luke (the last 4 verses) and ate loads of Mexican style food -- yummy. A lovely day.

further advent thoughts

2005-12-05T09:34:00.000Z

Advent – a waiting time -- is on my mind, the end of term is too. This zone before the next phase is frantic for me, conscious that in a matter of two or three weeks everything will suddenly feel very different from how it is now I'm waiting for the change. Being in this frantic waiting place causes some of my deepest emotions to surface; ones of hope and eagerness and also of pain and fear. Consumerism suggests to me that everything is mine by right and that I can have it now. There is another call on me though which tells me to find a way to patience and stillness so that the deeper and fuller things of life can fully unfold. So although I find the waiting hard … it is a good wayl

breaking the silence

2005-12-04T11:54:00.000Z

Have been happily occupied since the last blog with many things -- the challenges of term time and friendship. Suddenly its advent, a silent waiting time when decay is more evident than change. Into this silence there is perhaps a latent undercurrent of groaning for liberation, as yet though it is undefineable, and hard to tell the direction from which it is coming, if it is coming at all.

Palestine documentary -- more news

2005-08-18T14:51:00.000+01:00

True North, an independent TV production company like the 8 minute trailer we've made and are in negotiation with Channel 4! So maybe there'll be some more news soon.

appetizers from Greenbelt programme

2005-08-18T14:19:00.000+01:00

I find comprehending the programme a major task at the beginning of Greenbelt.

So I've been browsing the Greenbelt Website http://www.greenbelt.org.uk looking for things that stand out to me at this point.

Here's seven things from each section which are whetting my appetite so far.

Comments back on things that are better than these appreciated ...

Arts
http://www.greenbelt.org.uk/?a=300&pr=81 Female Performance Poetry
http://www.greenbelt.org.uk/?a=301&pr=81 "King of the surreal one liners"
http://www.greenbelt.org.uk/?l=1280 Steve Tomkins always painfully and cuttingly funny critique of all things Christian
http://www.greenbelt.org.uk/?l=263&pr=80 One of Riding Lights' best
http://www.greenbelt.org.uk/?l=253&pr=80 skit show from the "postmodern heart of darkness"
http://www.greenbelt.org.uk/?l=278&pr=79 The main Greenbelt Art Show featuring Carla's ships in the desert
http://www.greenbelt.org.uk/?a=302&pr=81 He could be very funny, Edinburgh likes him

Talks
http://www.greenbelt.org.uk/?a=342&pr=83 My mate Al McCollum on the bible as literature!
http://www.greenbelt.org.uk/?a=266&pr=78 Eco-Bishop (James Jones)
http://www.greenbelt.org.uk/?a=274&pr=78 Art, Memory and Kitsch from Canada
http://www.greenbelt.org.uk/?a=278&pr=78 Architecture and the construction Israeli identity
http://www.greenbelt.org.uk/?a=262&pr=78 Conflict resolution and non-violence in South America
http://www.greenbelt.org.uk/?a=268&pr=78 A very significant Christian environmentalist
http://www.greenbelt.org.uk/?a=250&pr=78 Palestinian Christian Theologies from Naim Ateek

Music
http://www.greenbelt.org.uk/?a=631&pr=77 any jazz set-up which includes Denys Baptiste has to be cool
http://www.greenbelt.org.uk/?l=1300&pr=77 oooo, a string quartet, and a piano trio!
http://www.greenbelt.org.uk/?a=323&pr=77 his hair, voice, old gramaphone, body posture, and previous listen make Duke Special a probable
http://www.greenbelt.org.uk/?a=327&pr=77 ah good, some 'world music'
http://www.greenbelt.org.uk/?a=244&pr=77 seriously good folk singer picks up awards because she has the profoundity and passion Kate Rusby lacks
http://www.greenbelt.org.uk/?a=239&pr=77 sitar style worship -- in Centaur chill out zone -- maybe must maybe
http://www.greenbelt.org.uk/?a=229&pr=77 perhaps GBs best kept musical secret for this year ... from Liverpool an 8 piece band who play very quietly!

Worship
http://www.greenbelt.org.uk/?l=276&pr=82 two helpings from Visions -- including film footage from Palestine and a new Eucharistic prayer with British Sign Language influences
http://www.greenbelt.org.uk/?l=364 a promise that the Sunday morning will be shorter than a football game, and maybe more interesting -- ho!
http://www.greenbelt.org.uk/?l=375 Anglican Communion Ska style -- hee!
http://www.greenbelt.org.uk/?l=274 Art work from Sanctuary -- Stations of the Cross
http://www.greenbelt.org.uk/?a=239&pr=77 Aradhna -- Praise and Worship Sitar Style! haa!
http://www.greenbelt.org.uk/?l=1284&pr=82 British Asian worship fusion with more from Aradhna
http://www.greenbelt.org.uk/?l=377 God the Creator worship -- might be lots of pictures of butterflies I fear ... could be much better though ...